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An Insight Into Me

'Always look on the bright side of life' – Monty Python

Month

July 2017

Birthdays: Getting Older and Wiser

Hi Hi World,

As you might have guessed from the title of this post I grew another year older this week. So bearing that in mind, I thought I’d share a brain dump on my feelings this week.

First feeling was terror. I spent a good two weeks working up to my birthday, knowing it was coming, just fearing it. “I’m getting older, I don’t want to get older, that means I should get a man, get married and have some babies soon” – pretty much that was on replay through my brain as I contemplated how getting older means more responsibilities. Society says that the older you get, the more mature you should become, you should move out, become a homeowner (good luck in london), buy an ISA, understand finances (do they give lessons in that).

Next comes the self deprecation. “I’ve got fine lines around my eyes!” Wrinkles!” Instead of looking in the mirror you stare! You search for the signs that you really are getting older, you tear yourself apart telling yourself how awful you look now that you are almost a whole year older.

Finally you come to realise that you should be happy about a reason to celebrate try and forget why you are doing it and party like there is no tomorrow.

 

That’s what I think most people go through when their birthday is just around the corner. But here is what I think we should consider; it’s a new year of life, a clean slate, an opportunity! It’s like new years eve, a time where you can analyse yourself and decide to change.

I feel like so many people only focus on the negatives. I listened to a podcast recently, (one of my new favourite things) which said something really interesting. At a one year olds’ birthday party, everyone is celebrating! It’s joy and enthusiasm for what life may bring to this little bundle of joy. But as we get older the fun and love for life lessens and we lose that sense of happiness when we celebrate another year of life, commiserating instead on all the things we haven’t achieved yet, comparing ourselves to others and putting ourselves down.

My new age resolution is to focus more on me. To do things that I enjoy and to treat myself better. Whether that means eating healthier (god knows I need to start cutting down on junk) or trying to exercise more (another goal of mine for the past, who knows how long…) to simpler things like taking the time to care for my skin, every day, twice a day or taking the time to stop and drink more water at work, to take my breaks at work. Basically to look after myself, because if I don’t, who else is going to.

Let me know what your new age resolution is in the comments below. And remember, it doesn’t need to be new years eve, or even a birthday. Tomorrow is Monday, the start of a new week… so, what’s your Monday Resolution? Let me know in the comments… let’s start a conversation!

Kisses.

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Confessions of a Bookworm

Hey readers. It’s been a while. Skipping the boring apology for being ‘off the grid’ I’m jumping straight into what this post is all about. My love for reading.

Today, Saturday, best day of the week. It’s my down time to catch up on sleep, actually see and speak to my parents and read read read read read. Today I devoured one of the books I picked out from the Zoella Bookclub. If you’ve been reading my posts for a while you’ll know that last summer Zoella released a bookclub with WHSmith. This year she released a Zoella bookclub &Friends which is just as good if not better! I was so excited when she announced it was back and picked a few books out when I was in Smiths a few weeks ago. Today I finished Beautiful Broken Things (by Sara Barnard and featured in last years Bookclub) and picked up on of the new books I chose, I started Letters to the Lost by Brigid Kemmerer. 

I. Could. Not. Put. It. Down.

Normally I’d wait until I have read a few good books and put them in a bookclub for you, but this one inspired me to write. Oh boy. It is the kind of book that you get lost in. That tugs at your heart strings, makes you laugh, makes you cry. That you don’t want to put down for anything, not eating, drinking or bathroom breaks. The kind of read that consumes you until you raise your eyes with a deep breath as you turn the final page and wish that it carried on a while more. 

I started and finished it and loved it beginning to end. 

That is what I love and have always loved about reading, getting lost in a world that isn’t your own. I remember when I was younger, a little version of me, that had a special cost corner of my room between my bed and the bedroom door. I’d curl into the carpet with a pillow to lean against and I’d dive into the pages of Enid Blyton’s Faraway Tree, or the Famous Five or the Secret seven and imagine I was in those stories. I’d laugh and gasp in all the right places, the movie real of my imagination bringing it to life. It was easier then, when life was school, a half hour of homework and then an endless evening of reading. I used to go through so many books using up half my mums library ticket space as well, as my own, with books to keep me entertained till our next visit. Libraries are such a calming place, like bookshops, whispering stories to you from far flung places, entincing you into their pages behind their covers.

I still love that feeling, for some people in adulthood their escapism is to drink, smoke or drown themselves in work to avoid real life problems. For me it’s sinking my teeth into a great read, it doesn’t have to be something all hearts and flowers, happy and light. It just needs to carry you away into another world. 

I always say, a book can only be great if it makes you feel something real, if it makes you smile, laugh or cry, or if it shakes you to your foundations. Letters to the Lost did just that. It shook me to my core. It’s characters had real life problems, with real life communication difficulties. It tackled some tough issues in a practical way and made me feel! It opened my eyes about judgement, and if I’m honest, how to deal with loss. 

I’m not going to breakdown the plot here, I’ll save it for the bookclub that will follow, in case I’ve inspired you to pick up a copy and you don’t want any spoilers. 

I just want you to know that I love books. It’s not a big dark secret or anything, but it’s a big part of me. I don’t get the time I’d like to read anymore. Life gets in the way. But as someone inspiring says ‘Do more of what makes you happy!’ – Alfie Deyes. Reading makes me happy, I’m trying to do more of it. 

Let me know what makes you happy, and if you’re a fellow bookworm. Share me some of your favourite reads in the comments! 

Kisses.

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